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Monthly Archives: February 2013

TUJUANE – MTAA EDITION.

When Nation Media Group launched its flagship television station Nation Television (now NTV) at the turn of the millennium in 1999-2000, it introduced some local programmes fashioned on European or North American versions. Among the presenters of the day I remember are Eyes on the Peoples host Zawadi Mawanda and a drop dead South African lady who had come to Kenya from London Nomava Kibare.  There was also a dating programmer whereby people without the raw skills, vibe and finesse to tune or get tuned would get a chance to select a prospective date from a pool of hopelessly romantic types. They would then be taken to an all expense paid outing so that they can get the opportunity to get up-close and candid with each other. In my case, I learnt how to vibe while in school, primary and high although I was not the cockerel type of person being a person who is a laid back extrovert wrapped up in one.

It was a good programme because most of those who took part were normal people, with flaws as you or me. But of late I have been reliably informed (and confirmed and verified this information with YouTube) that Kenya Television Network KTN has a programme scripted along such lines called Tujuane (a Swahili term meaning let us know each other). It would not have caught my attention had not been for the mental torture (or is it massacre) a gentleman participating in the show known as George from Kasarani ( Diva ni sabuni) went through at the hands ooohh sorry… lips of one Susan from South C (who sounded a high maintenance person, if we have to ignore her cutlery etiquette and brash behavior). Now this George it transpires is a seriously loaded guy, but the image he presents to the good lady from South C is that of a person struggling (yaani hustler or sufferer mtu nguyas), from his choice of clothes, music and what the towel on the table is meant for. After watching the episode, I will not be harsh on either George or Susan who some have called “light but not bright” but will watch the vindeo and ndrama as it unfolds from the comfort of the armchair. Kenyans on Twitter will be the next batch to board a plane to The Hague for crimes against Susan wa South C to honour a date with Madam Fatou Bensouda for flaming, shaming and roasting this innocent lady.

Personally I have always held that beauty is beyond just the photogenic looks which Susan appears to have (even though it may be strongly argued that not to the level of Tia or Tamera Mowry). Beauty should also encompass character and other traits. At the time when we were watching Nomava Kibare, most young boys opined that Debra Sanaipei and not Yolanda Masinde was an exemplification of local beauty, but all along we never heard of or saw her humiliate a man simply because she was beautiful. And so those boys who were cheeky would always seek ways of shaking her hand in the City and giggling from ear to ear come to transmit the information to the rest of us. (We were never sure whether such a handshake ever was, although the subjects would claim not to have washed their hands for several days!). International-wise  it used to be Hale Berry who adorned many young men’s mental walls (some frank and honest ladies would tell me that I was not a Denzel Washington type – to date, I still do not know who this man was or is ). Later on after I was crowned a Young Elder in the Sunset  Order of the Rising Sun, while drowning away my soberness under dimly lit environments, I would hear from those who had been there, done that and bought some things that true beauty and freedom lay in the eyes of the beer holder, not skin deep of the beauty.

Supposing that I was unlucky to an extent of hooking up with some random person through assisted or blind dating, (these is just for information purposes only as being a retired player who hang his boots some years ago with a RED classification now an elder in the Sunset Order of the Rising Sun bars one from adopting certain tendencies, habits or conduct like emulating Akuku Danger, Raphael Wanjala, Jacob Zuma, King Mswati III, Silvio Berlusconi aka Bungabunga and lately my hero Mohammed Abduba Dida alias Coachess wa Team)I would reveal the following about myself;

  1. Residence – I have been a ghetto resident (but not ghetto fabulous though) for as long as I remember, and I make no apologies for that. If you want to visit me, get to the Dagoretti District Commissioner’s Office in Kawangware-Riruta and call me so that I can either come to pick you up, or clear the way so that miscreants will allow you ingress and egress. I only get to hear about suburbs from my mabarbie acquaintances. ( they rarely befriend or accept your friendships because of the fear of the unknown)
  2. Occupation – I do a lot of things to make ends meet. I am not some white-collar, air-conditioned office worker per se. So if you have any work to be done, it won’t hurt if you get back to me having in mind the fact that I am not one who looks at a gift horse in the mouth.
  3. Education and Language – Nimeread kiasi to keep me going I can work literally anywhere just give me induction and we are good to go. I’am a voracious reader who knows the eight figures of speech thanks to my mother and some few teachers. I can hold a conversation going anywhere, anytime at all times. Am a Swahili mufti guru (or professor as I was once told by a Kiswahili linguistically challenged person) and a sheng speaker as circumstances dictate.
  4. Music – My musical tastes are varied. Harry Belafonte’s Jamaican farewell, Billie Holiday’s Strange Fruit, James Last’s Tico Tico, Lee Retiour & David Sanborn’s Backstreet, Louis Armstrong’s What a wonderful world, Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro, Handel’s messiah, Mzee Ngala’s Bango, Kalamashaka’s Tafsiri Hii, being a rumba connoisseur TPOK Jazz’s Ekabakaba, Sadao Watanabe’s tunes, Bob Dylan’s The Time they are Changing, Afua Suleimani & East African Melody’s Taarab, Old school reggae like Bob Marley and the Wailers – siyo kelele za akina Vybz Kartel or Mavado, without forgetting Ohangla with such tunes as Calisto, Siaya Kababa, Kanungo e teko and Kuche kuche ..mano tabia mbaya. (Never mind the fact that I do not fathom 90% of what is being sang). I have most of these artists’ songs on my system.
  5. Dress – I was never christened a conman without some valid reasons. I don brand new Chinese suits, second-hand Gikosh shoes, suits and shirts, but buy new ties, socks, vests and “others.”
  6. Games/Sports – I play and also train people to play chess ( at this juncture, I am ready and willing to train Susan wa South C at  a very competitive discount so that she can at least play a proper sport and game openings like the Queen’s Opening aache za ovyo mambo ya elitist sports kama fencing ama watching Australian Opening kutupandisia ), scrabble, but I am a fan of football (Gor Mahia, Arsenal, Celtics, Barcelona, Internationale Milan, Santos, Boca Juniors not Riverplate, ), lawn tennis a very expensive game I love and occasionally follow live coverage on BBC Sportsworld ( talk of the four grand slam tournaments viz. Australian Open , the French Open, the Wimbledon and the US Open), Rugby aka rudgie, and occasional watch basketball.
  7. Manners – I can ably handle the cutlery at Serena and also jostle for space at Burma market. I am not that person who is pretentious with my head in the air and my feet off the ground. And if you think that a fist-bump is for lowlifes, then proceed to classify me as such. Kugota ni muhimu.
  8. Clubs and restaurants – Sichagui, sibagui. Simmers ama Sarova Stanley’s Thorn Tree, am like a duck in water.

Now about George being said to have developed jelly feet, and blubbering instead of holding his own, most of men would agree, that at one point in your life, u tried katiaring a nguna na lugha ikapinga mwamba ,you went gagaga, gigagagaaa as Nonini would say unless you never tried and just went home to nurse your wishes and dreams which would eventually never come true. You occasionally make a fool of yourself but you don’t give up, you console yourself that the ocean is still full. And about Susan wa South C, I know where you are coming from, I won’t hate or lambast you or even castigate you for your very divaish behavior (unless the show was choreographed to cast you as a person or bimboish buffoon suffering from inferiority complex who can only feel content by humiliating others). You showed the world your true colours and character, and it is not a sin or crime to do so, please do not apologize for you are on the right path and if lady luck smiles on you, then it may not even be Lewis Hamilton breaking up with Nicole Scherzinger to look for you, but last time I checked, Tiger Woods was single! I was once told by a lady that my countenance was not what the national legal tender would wish to have on its face. I took it in stride because having refused to be “hers”, I understood it to be a case of sour grapes.

THE KENYA PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE 2013 – OVERTIME

“If you have grabbed someone’s land, please return back to the owner and ask God for forgiveness. It is the best way to maintain peace,” Alliance for Real Change Presidential Candidate Mohammed Abduba Dida speaking at the charade that was the National and Reconciliation Prayers convened by Prophet Dr. David Owuor, at Uhuru Park, Nairobi.

Kenya’s second and final presidential debate to be moderated by KTN’s Joe Ageyo and Citizen TV’s Uduak Amimo takes place today at the Brookhouse School. Among the topics to be tackled are the economy, resources and resource management and foreign policy. But Land is bound to take up the lion’s share of the debate if recent pronouncements are anything to go by. Uhuru had threatened to boycott this debate on the pretext that Linus Kaikai was too hard on him but lenient on other candidates who also have logs in their eyes, but that was a lie, he may be developing cold feet as he may not be able to address the land question while his hands are soiled with the same. Raila Odinga has put Uhuru on his defence on account of the latter’s claims that he can fairly arbitrate on the explosive land question in Kenya. Uhuru strategy appears to have been jolted when his cousin Public Health Minister Beth Mugo, herself a large landowner in a fit of excitement cheated that the Kenyatta family is already “donating” part of its “legally” acquired Gicheha Farm in Taita Taveta to the locals. It is not lost to the Mijikenda that such promises in the past have amounted to nothing but disappointment and thus this new information is being received with pinch of salt – or contempt if you like. Raila on his part appears to enjoy overwhelming support from the residents of the coastal region some who mistakenly believe that he will do justice to them after having had to endure injustice under the colonial, Kenyatta, Moi, Kibaki and Kibaki-Raila administrations.

This comedy of errors reminds me of my childhood. One day in November, 1997 Daniel Toroitich Arap Moi came in his Volkswagen Combi replesendent with its two flags, the national flag and the presidential standard to Dagoretti to campaign for Hon. Chris Kariuki Kamuyu at Ndurarua Grounds (when we were kids, we just liked seeing the president plus everyone agrees that this support was responsible for the loss of KK to Beth Mugo, Moi was toxic). He cheated us that he only had Karbanet Gardens as his property in Nairobi (claimed he was given by Kenyatta) and his salary was just enough to cover basic essentials at a time when he was knee-deep bringing the country to its knees. KANU thrived on lies and deception, evil thrived, children were forced to learn and recite the Nyayo loyalty pledge which I later found out was fake, a ruse like the KANU people. So while the people were fed with lies, public land and utilities were shared out among the party honchos and their progenies. The same people are the ones we are hoping will get us out of the muck they created.

Without mincing words, it is the plain but sad truth that the Kenyatta family owns more land that it needs at the expense of those who sincerely and genuinely deserve it. The defence that is always fronted that it was acquired through legal means fails the basic test, the test of integrity. Being legal does not amount to being right, just or fair. It was legal during Adolf Hitler’s time in office to use Jews as Guinea Pigs, but it was not right, it was legal for white men to own slaves in America not long ago, but it was not right, it was legal in 1957 for the British to execute Dedan Kimathi, but it was not right, there are very many legal events in history which were legal but not right. In a nutshell, Kenyatta’s family land holdings were legally acquired, but not rightly or justly. It was at the cost of dispossessing some that Kenyatta possessed, it was by displacement that Kenyatta occupied. Seriously it does not require Mwenda Makathimo to know that the Kenyatta family owes those whose lands were forcefully taken an apology and restitution.

So while the wealthiest people in the world from Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, Marc Zuckerbag, Bill Gates, Michael Bloomberg are busy trying to offload the amount of money (most of it legally acquired and earned through sheer sweat and intelligence) they have through charity and philanthropy, Kenyatta’s family is still intent on amassing more and holding on to land which can be best utilised by those poor squatters whose forefathers were buried on way back before Jomo Kenyatta was even born. And Uhuru still expects to win votes from these disenfranchised coastarians? Uhuru cannot shy away from the fact that his father’s legacy was the genesis of the land troubles at the Coast. It is evil that in the age where people are living in dire straits, fighting over small pieces of land for subsistence farming, Kenyatta’s family prizes it landholding and lives in opulence. Uhuru’s mother has been taken to court by a Nakuru farmer who alleges that his land was forcefully taken away from him by Kenyatta.

What can we do? Nothing much. Even the National Land Commission which was appointed is likely to be the tail that is wagged by the dog, not the dog that wags the tail. The sons and daughters of those who created these problems are still very much entrenched in the system and they cannot right the wrongs as they will expose their flanks; it will take more than just good laws to right the wrongs. It will take Kikuyus, Luos, Turkanas, Pokots, Pokomos, Kisiis, Rendilles, Njemps and all other Kenyans who have to crawl on their knees while the Railas, Uhurus, Rutos, Karua, Kalonzos, Muites, Mudavadis ride their top of the range cars on their backs. It will take the unity of purpose based on an idea of justice and truth for us to see change, not voting for tribal kingpins. No common Kikuyu can access Uhuru, no common Luo can access Raila, they are all struggling trying to put food on their tables, so please, do not antagonize and ostracize any of them based on what a tribal Kingpin does or says. Your neigbhours irrespective of their tribal affiliations are humans like you, with the ability to feel both joy and sadness. I have been thinking and have come to a conclusion, none of the contenders or politicians is a punda (donkey), they are all farasis (horses,) and most of us the voters are pundas. We work, they get paid.

In conclusion, I know that there is no difference of ideology between Raila and Uhuru, and so whichever way the vote goes, debate wise or poll wise, the current state of affairs will not change. The war of all against all will continue, the push for a better future will continue to be a push and what has been will continue to be. The Ndung’u Land Report was shelved without any action being taken because those who were to action it were implicated in the gross scandals documented. It is a scratch my back I scratch your back system, Uhuru sorts Raila, Raila sorts Uhuru with the commodity being the poor hapless and landless squatters and voters. Take your pick!

KENYAN PRESIDENTIAL VOTES WILL BE STOLEN!

Those are not my words, but Raila Amolo Odinga‘s, the epitome of chastity and honesty has made a detour from his presidential campaigns after he found out that plans are afoot to rig elections. And as a man who is both virtuous and a true patriot, he has decided to tell all and sundry about it not the relevant bodies since they are compromised. The only problem is that he is addressing his scoop to the wrong people, we the mass. Raila is a man who has told us that he brought us the progressive new constitution (which is the next great thing after sliced bread) and we should therefore have trust in the credible institutions that it has created or enhanced. Among these bodies is the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) headed by non other than the much-loved and respected Ahmed Isaak Hassan who Raila himself has consistently said that he has faith in. I will not include the institution headed by Dr. Willy Mutunga i.e. the judiciary because it is a bandia (fake) institution according to Jakom. Among the two leading contenders, one gentleman I know who will not take anything short of victory is Raila Odinga. This is because this is a do or die affair; he has given all he had to be the president of the republic of Kenya, and he knows that this is his time therefore he cannot bring himself to accept the fact that he an ace, could lose to a novice like his former muthoniwa, Uhuru Kenyatta.

Raila has raised what could amount to a credible but ill-informed red flag about rigging but they are directed at the wrong forum. I lack the words to express my consternation why an international respected person like Jakom can be engaging in cheap fights with suspects like Uhuru and Ruto. These are not people who should be giving Agwambo sleepless nights, it should be a walk in the park for him, not the uphill task that it is appearing to be. While his opponents are have the pariah status who only get essential contacts with the rest of the civilized world, he is the king respected and feted everywhere he goes, while his opponents are land grabbers and drunkards moving from koti hii, to koti hii, he is as white as snow, while his opponents are devilish capitalists, he is a social democrat concerned with the welfare of the people of Kenya and wealth distribution, while the suspects are only concerned about amassing wealth, he is busy sharing out the little riches that he has like Mahatma Gandhi. These are some of the reasons why I am befuddled that Raila cannot knock out these characters instead of going the full 12 round bout. If the presidential race was a chess game, Raila would be playing the white pieces while Uhuru would be playing the black pieces, and instead of Raila checkmating Uhuru, he would be busy strategizing for a stalemate.

We must all speak out against vote rigging whenever and wherever it happens. In 1992, Kenneth Stanley Njindo Matiba “Kenbrew” routed Moi in the presidential contest, but Moi rigged himself in Matiba was foolish enough to head to the courts where the hyenas were presiding over the trial of the sheep, he got fried, licked his wounds, went to the Vatican to visit the pope and burnt his voter’s card then retired to oblivion in South Coast. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni ( through the competent legal advice of Eugene Ludovic Wamalwa) has been rigging elections each time they are held and ordering for the battering of Kizza Besigye if he dares raise his head to protest, Comrade Dr. Robert Gabriel Mugabe and his agents have always rigged elections and later on reconfigured the face of Morgan Tsvangirai. In 2007, most of us agreed that Kibaki had lost to Raila, but we know who the president (the one with only one dear wife) is whether it was a rigged election or not, we paid heavily for Samuel Kivuitu’s indecisiveness. Prior to the elections, Anyang’ Nyong’o’ had revealed that he had actionable information that Kibaki was planning to rig elections, we do not know what stategise his party put in place to avoid the rigging but nevertheless Kibaki did his thing. I also sincerely sympathized with Raila and asked myself questions like who created Kibaki? Who nurtured Kivuitu? Did mother Karua have parents or human relatives? Was Amos Kimunya a robot, an alien or a human being? But all these were rhetorical questions, with no answers.

But why I ask, is Raila the co-principal, assisted with the third small co-principal (Kalonzo) crying wolf? Isn’t he the big kahuna kilokilo and real Baba Yao, nyahunyo ya Nyayo? Isn’t he leading in all the opinion polls, from Ipsos Synovate to Infotrack Harris? Unless his people on the ground have had their ears inhabited with grasshoppers by keeping them on the ground for long without moving, the truth is that the reason why Uhuru is fast catching up with him is the money issue. The suspects are employing all manner of tricks in the bag on their “grand march to State House”. So while CORD is busy reciting the constitution, promising change once it gets into government (which it is already in), the suspects are keeping their eyes on the goal, maximizing and utilizing all manner of campaign stratagems some legal, some not so legal including the use of some of its shady characters like William Kabogo why can’t Raila make use of his shady friend the human butcherer Old Nick’s Mungiki’s Maina Njenga? While CORD coalition is coming up with innovative ways of preventing vote fraud, Jubilee coalition is busy hunting and “buying” votes. Raila should counter all this maneuvers instead of bemoaning and planning how best to act after the electoral fraud.

Raila should not seek public sympathy, but votes. In Robert Green’s 48 Laws of Power, there is a Law No. 45 that  reads “Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once.” This is a mirror of Raila. For while he is fond of using the word change, he does not change or reform. I ask, why was he seeking the hand of William Ruto the land grabber masquerading as a hustler if he believes in change? Why is he moving hand in hand with Kalonzo Musyoka and Mutula Kilonzo KANU’s poster boys who only discovered democracy after the fall of Moi as James Orengo once intimated? There is no man better versed in elections in Kenya than Raila, no experienced hand in the race than Raila a man whose tentacles reach far and wide. So let him use his influences to seal the loopholes that can be used to deny him his rightful victory, not address the media and allege manipulations. And to those who may use “rigging” as a pretext to cause mayhem, be warned that you have been put on notice, US president Barack Obama has asked you to rely on courts, not street battles, his Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs Johnnie Carson a former ambassador to Kenya is already on record as having put Kenya on the chopping block should their choice(s) not fit into the larger scheme of things. The United Nations Special Advisor on the Prevention of Genocide Adama Dieng, has made it loud and clear that the government must ensure the safety of the citizens must be guaranteed by the government through preventing violence and international military intervention will be an option should the situation get out of hand. This is not 2008 where warlords had a field day. The lens of the whole world is trained on us now. So Raila and Uhuru, whoever loses, must follow the example of former Zambian president Rupiah Banda and concede defeat as a gentleman. Please do not be a sore loser in the words of Chess grandmaster Susan Polgar, win with class but lose with dignity!

POST ELECTION ETHNIC TENSION IN KENYA.

The world is in trouble; both the haves and have-nots are suffering in one way or another. In South Africa, celebrated Olympian and paralympian Oscar Pistorius, The Blade Runner born without fibula in both legs and his parents had them amputated below the knee at just eleven months who made history at the London 2012 Olympics when he became the first double amputee to run in both the Olympics and Paralympics, racing in the 400m and 4x400m relay has been arrested and charged with the murder of his girlfriend, a Nelson Mandela University law graduate and model and FHM magazine cover girl Reeva Steenkamp on Valentines Day. In Kenya, a father killed his five children. Living in this world and being sane seems a big challenge. I pray that friends and relatives of Reeva will find the courage to live without their departed soul.

Back to the topic at hand, Peace in Kenya is no longer an option, it is a necessity. Rumours of war fed on paranoia are circulating that communities in Rift Valley are arming themselves in anticipation for war after the March 4th General Elections. Although the reports are trying to sound academic and diplomatic, the truth is that they are referring to the Kalenjin and Kikuyu communities. I decipher the communities based on the past conduct of some of their members. Although the residents of Rift Valley are of diverse culture and customs, they are all the same as far as life is concerned, and they rely on each other to get along. No single community can survive in Kenya’s Rift Valley without the support of members of other communities. It is like a machine, in which every cog plays a pivotal role in other to guarantee performance and efficiency, if one fails, the whole machine fails.  Again, no Kenyan would just wake up and decide that his neighbhour is no longer a human being but a beast to be slaughtered unless some agent of the devil in the name of a politician incites him and funds him. Kenya must rise from these madness.

Talk therefore of communities preparing for war appears misplaced and meant to distract people from investing and going about their day-to-day affairs with hope for the future. I know that no sane Kalenjin will pick up a machete to attack a fellow Kenyan because he/she is a Kikuyu or Kisii, and no Kikuyu will go after the throat of a Kalenjin, force a Luo or Luhya out of a bus and kill him/her. Tribal wars were fought in Rift Valley before and after the 1992 general elections, repeated in 1997-98 there was the lull before the storm in 2002 which gave birth to the hurricane of 2008. Moi through a charade known as The Akiwumi Commission tried to cheat us that he would get to the bottom of the matter while he meant to do nothing. We accept that the past was bad, jungle law prevailed over civil law, but this is a different world, a world where no man is immune from oversight. If you doubt me, ask El Bashir, Thomas Lubanga, Laurent Gbagbo, Jean Piere Bemba, Uhuru Kenyatta, William Ruto, Major General (Rtd) Mohammed Hussein Ali, Henry Kiprono Kosgey, Francis Kirimi Muthaura and Joshua Arap Sang how serious the world now eschews impunity. No one (except the leaders of Europe, America, Russia, China, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Japan) are immune from international oversight.

I was a very young man in 1997 when the Likoni Police Station was attacked by the Kayabombo gang leading to loss of innocent life, 1998 the scenes that welcomed when Rev. Jesse Jackson were reminiscent of Emmett Till’s time during the Civil Rights Movement in America when African-Americans were being hounded, hunted and killed by white supremacists. Human life was rendered valueless and was being lost in the Rift Valley while dictator and plutocrat Daniel Toroitich Arap Moi was busy going about his business, in 2008 when innocent people were burnt to death in a church in Kiambaa, Eldoret the silence from State House was repeated and no Kenyan leader uttered a voice of reason to condemn but they were all busy planning revenge attacks. It was said that there was a time when people were being forcefully taken of buses and fed to crocodiles. I am now a not very young man and happy that even if the warlords chuck out money, no youth will execute their evil designs, the international community will not entertain any disruption of law and order and finally, finally, what Fatou Bensouda is much more than what Louis Moreno Ocampo accomplished. If all of them fail, “cousin” Barrack Hussein Obama will not sit back and watch as his father’s land sinks into anarchy, not under his watch. While Bush was diplomatic to send Jendayi Frazer and Condoleezza Rice, Obama will remind the warlords the fate of Muamar Gadhaffi and his sons.

We know and accept that as a matter of fact, our lives will not change for the better whether Raila Odinga or Uhuru Kenyatta wins, we will still have to bear the burden of high taxation, high medical fees, high tuition fees, corruption, nepotism and tribalism at the echelons of the government. Anybody therefore who would want fuel the embers of violence by hiring youths to engage in violence does not deserve to be breathing the air we breathe, but spending time in Kamiti Maximum Security Prison, Kodiaga Prison, Shimo La Tewa Prison, Kingo’ngo’ Prison or Naivasha Maximum Security Prison so that those of us who love and cherish peace and tranquility may go on with our lives unbothered. This is on assumption that the “irate members of the public” will be prevented by law enforcement officers from meting out their own form of justice on the culprits. Elections will come and go, but our lives must continue. Whoever loses fairly must accept and congratulate the victor not incite his constituents to rise up and defend their “stolen victory”.

Emilio Mwai Kibaki, David Kimaiyo the Inspector-General of the Kenya Police Service and all other organs concerned with the safety and security of the citizens must keep guard and eliminate all threats before they become real with the conviction that humanity is behind them. We will hold them to account should it require the intervention of the international community should the warlords pull of any fast ones on us, and we will have them locked away safely for a long time.

THE KENYA PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE 2013 – ROUND ONE.

11th February, 2013 has booked its place in history as the day when Kenya’s first ever presidential debate took place. On stage were the six men and the two boys, Raila Amolo Odinga, Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta, Wycliffe Musalia Mudavadi, Peter Kenneth, Martha Wangari Karua, James Ole Kiyiapi, Paul Kabugi Muite and last but not least Mohammed Abduba Dida. Despite my initial reservations as to whether we could manage to pull off a successful debate, I have nothing but effusive praise for the organizers and the moderators Linus Kaikai and Julie Gichuru. Not even the surprise announcement by Pope Benedict XVI that he would be resigning would steal the thunder from the debate. Tuning in to BBC’s Newshour programme at 2000 Hrs GMT, it was clear that we were in the cross-hairs of the world. In America, the trend and practice is to hold the debate between those who have the clout, here, even the pundas had to come to race with the horses.

Overall, none of the candidates impressed me to a level whereby I can change my mind to vote for any of them. That aside, I do not think that any of the candidates managed to set out his or her agenda for this country and its people for the next five years, too much time was spent on blaming and defending. There was no clear line of thought and plan of action from any of the candidates on defence, national security and insecurity, corruption, healthcare and education and educational infrastructure. All we heard were hackneyed promises some which are unsustainable. The message to Kenyans was, we will not work for you, and do not risk trusting us. I have in my short life been able to watch several presidential debates, the first one in 2008 between Senators Barack Obama, the second in 2010 featuring Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron. Last year, I took time to listen to Radio France International to hear Nicholas Sarkozy debate Francois Hollande. Yesterday’s event was a question and answer session, not debate per se. Compared with what happened yesterday, we are still light years behind as far as “debating” goes. The candidates carried themselves with decorum, a manner that is so unlike Kenyan politicians. But their key uniting trait stood out like a sore thumb, the incorrigible lying ability.

Uhuru came out of the debate as not just an insincere leader, bur person. Uhuru has never, does not and will never work for the national good of this country; he cares about himself, his family and his businesses. The Hague ICC’s albatross around his neck was not as a result of Raila or his buddies, it was planned and executed by Uhuru and his allies so for him to blame Raila was just conduct unbecoming. Just like his fellow musketeers, instead of being factual and dealing with the questions directed at them, they skirted around the questions and went on a lying path. Uhuru Kenyatta knows that he never curtailed the use of fuel guzzlers by state officials, yet he unashamedly stands before the whole world to proclaim the same. Every person who lives in Nairobi and walks these streets knows that even as he was lying at Brookhouse School, Karen, right in that compound, some GK and blue plated fuel guzzlers were parked. His ICC woes aside, a lying president is the last thing we need to get out of the muck we are in. On tribalism, Uhuru is a tribalist per excellence. As much as I repsct Hon. Beth Wambui Mugo, I do not think that Uhuru had any other basis for forwarding her name for nomination as a senator except the fact that they are cousins.

Jakom was the big boss of the day, upende usipende (perennially termed the frontrunner by most people) as usual made much use of selective memory fused with sprinklings of outright lies. Too bad they would not let him spice up the show with his Kiswahili anecdotes and proverbs. Raila has already shown that he can build bridges, forgive past wrongs and move on by working with past foes that turning them into lethal forces. He buried the hatchet with dictator Moi who had him spend several stints in detention( sincerely speaking, If I had been , he has worked wit Kibaki despite the post 2002 MOU and subsequent dropping from the government he helped elect and form, he is currently working with Kenya’s best known traitor and watermelon Kalonzo Musyoka who bolted with ODM-K’s certificate in 2007 and later rushed into a mpango wa kando affair with Kibaki in 2008 when Raila and Kenyans were demanding justice and peace in the country. But when it comes to the common people needs, Raila always washes his hands and leaves them at their own devices. On the ability of Uhuru to govern Kenya via Skype, I concur with him fully. His thoughts on healthcare were evidently contrary to the thoughts of Kenyan workers, employers and taxpayers. We do not want to pump any more money into the government healthcare scheme because it does nothing apart from paying salaries of fat cats. He is the government but whining about the “big boys,” by the mere fact that he is the coordinator and supervisor of all ministries and ministers with the power to hire and fire, the buck stops at his Shell & BP House on Harambee Avenue. On tribalism, Raila is not a tribalist but keen enforcer of nepotism, his key appointments revolve around his family and relatives and not the Luo community at all, in this respect he escapes the tribalist tag.

On the issue of parties and party ideologies, I do not understand what was so hard with Raila accepting that he has moved through several parties. It is common knowledge and didn’t stand to lose any vote by being truthful. In 1996, he defected from Ford Kenya after the Thika fiasco and resigned from parliament, formed National Development Party (Tinga Tinga), got re-elected in the ensuing by-election to Parliament and used the same party to vie for the presidency in 1997 where he emerged a strong third. On March 18th 2001, he led NDP to merger with Moi’s KANU to form new Kanu where he was anointed its secretary general, appointed the minster for energy and his key lieutenants including Dr. Adhu Awiti appointed to key positions in government.

In 2002, I was in Uhuru Park when Prof. Larry Gumbe’s Liberal Democratic Party (LDP – whose colours I vividly remember because the banner was raised were blue and yellow) was turned over to Jakom, after the 2005 referendum, (where the no team captained by Raila carried the day) it has been said that it was Najib Balala who floated the idea of turning the winning team’s movement into a party. It later transpired that Orange Democratic Movement had already been registered at the Registrar General’s Office. Orange Democratic Movement Kenya Orange Democratic Movement Kenya was formed; among its key luminaries were Jakom, Watermelon, Balala, Mudavadi, Joe Nyagah, Uhuru, Ruto and few other nondescript bootlickers. When Kalonzo the spoiler took off with ODM-K, Nairobi Lawyer Mugambi Imanyara came to the rescue and handed Jakom the certificate for Orange Democratic Movement. This is indeed the current party he is still leading. For him to lie that he just changed names of the parties indicated that he is not a social democrat he claims to be but just another Machiavellian politician.

KURA KWA ESTHER PASSARIS.

The position of the women’s representative in the national assembly is anchored in the Kenyan constitution by dint of Article 97 (b) which states that “forty-seven women, each elected by the registered voters of the counties, each county constituting a single member constituency;”. This article concerns the membership of the National Assembly. It follows therefore that a women’s representative is no less than any other member of parliament elected to represent a constituency as far as the scope of powers, privileges and duties are concerned. The framers of the “renaissance” constitution and the people of Kenya, who overwhelmingly voted for the constitution on 4th August, 2010 were seeking to bridge the gender gap between the two genders and not to restrict the ability of the feminine gender, to emancipate women from electoral and representative subjugation.

Having more women in parliament will also help push the agenda of the vulnerable girl child in parliament and enactment of key policy decisions. Some progress has been made towards women empowerment, but a lot still needs to be done. We have seen what a strictly patriarchal hegemony society like that obtaining in Saudi Arabia ( where most crimes are punishable by death mostly through beheading, in 2012 alone, 79 people were beheaded) is capable of doing (like the outrageous and vile case reported but unconfirmed) recent letting off the hook of cleric Fayan Al-Ghamdi who raped and tortured his five-year-old girl to death and all he got was a slap on the wrist, he was allowed to walk free by a judge upon payment of a blood money to her mother who he divorced but kept custody of the vulnerable girl. Had there been women represented in the making of laws, such a heinous act would have been punished with a punishment fitting the crime.

The National Assembly represents all the people of Kenya, not just women, it is therefore imperative for voters to discard the notion that a women’s representative in the national assembly will only be holding brief for women’s affairs, but rather this is a person who will be making laws which will bind the whole country. All eligible voters are allowed to vote for a women’s representative and not just women alone. Women have the world over since the days of Rosa Parks in Montgomery, Alabama, Cardis Collins in Illinois, Angela Merkel of Germany, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner of Argentina and Bernadine Rose Senanayake of Sri Lanka shown their mettle for leadership articulating issues of all people, not just their fellow women. The Kenyan constitution has now put women in the driving seat and guaranteed a place at the national table for our mothers and sisters and is upon us to make the wise and right choice as to who we elect. Let us not just elect as a going concern, but as serious business. We must thoroughly interrogate the candidates and their agenda. Those who have already served in the national assembly are measured on a high bar; they must give account of their actions in parliament and their contribution to national legislation.

Having said that, the ball is now in our court. Our destiny and future is not in the hands of fate, but it lies within us. We have to play our roles as responsible citizens of this country to sensitize the voters about the importance of voting for a capable, honest, courageous and time tested individual who has a passion for the betterment of the people and the citizens of this country as a women’s representative. This must be a person with innovative and business ideas which can transform the lives of Kenyans of all cadres, not just the middle class and upper income bracket.  We must still keep hope alive by seizing every moment that is thrown our way. The last five years have represented doom and gloom from our legislature, but we must not give up, all is not lost and we have that opportunity to redeem the stature of our national assembly. We have overcome the 10th parliament.

I have already made up my mind on who to elect to the national assembly to represent my constituency Dagoretti South i.e Dennis Kariuki Waweru a man whose background is business having been a director at Faida Securities a stock brokerage firm. It is a fact that employment is not the panacea of all the problems bedeviling our people because not all those who graduate from educational institutions will get employed; some must employ others or own and manage their businesses. To this end, we must therefore elect people who have already walked the talk where we can transact a quid pro quo with our votes.

For the position of the women’s representative for Nairobi County, I have unequivocally without any fear of contradiction already settled for Esther Passaris popularly known as Mama Taa (vying on Peter Kenneth’s Kenya National Congress Party) to carry the torch. My decision is guided by the fact that she has consistently shown that it does not always take the state to create employment, but a conducive environment by virtue of incentives like tax breaks and loosening the choke of bureaucracy for citizens to create wealth, employ others and pay their fair share of taxes. Since her days at Sharper Images to Adopt-A-Light, she has always been an employer of all classes of people. As much as it was business, at least she never chose the option of stacking away her monies in some Swiss, Jersey, or Cayman Island bank accounts but took a risk to invest in Kenya and in Kenyans. Her covenant is with the Kenyan people, not banks per se.

So good people, as Esther would say, let us not be filled with fear of what we cannot accomplish, but have faith in what we can accomplish when God is on our side. Volunteer, bring your friends, colleagues and neighbours on board the caravan, spread the word and let the message send Mama Taa to parliament, who knows, with her business background, she may just turn out to be history making as Hon. Eng. Muriuki Karue of the Constituency Development Fund or Hon. Njoki Ndung’u famously of the Sexual Offences Act. And currently a Supreme Court of Kenya judge.

 

THE PATH OF LAW.

I was born a good man, brought up a good man, grew up and turned out a good man and taught to respect norms and laws, to respect people and keep my distance from what was not mine. Those lessons have thus far served me well. Combined with age, experience and circumstances, I can confidently say that I am not doing badly when it comes to living the straight and narrow. I know most people are brought up to be good boys and girls, to keep the hands away from any type of cookie jar. But I really do not know why some characters missed the bus or skipped basic behaviuoral training from their parents, teachers, guardians, Sunday school teachers, madrassa teachers and the community at large.

An example would be the species known as touts or makangas. For the uninitiated, a makanga on this side of the universe is that person who collects bus fare from passengers. This species thrives mostly where anarchy and disorder reign and has been found to exhibit symptoms of a person suffering from Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome combined with schizophrenia. I have declare my interest though in this matter. I have very many kange acquaintances some of whom are just normal human beings, with the ability to reason and critique. But for majority of them, reason is an alien appendage o be shunned like an Ebola plague. A friend who I will not name used to tell us that for one to be a successful kange, he had to have fulfilled certain important conditions, to have rebelled against parental authority, to have rebelled against school authorities, to have rebelled against the laws of the land and finally and preposterously, to have sinned against heaven and earth! To illustrate the last point, just last month, a lady was thrown off a moving bus to her death because she didn’t have Kshs. 10 to top up her fare.

Back to my initial thoughts, even though I do not commit crimes, it is not because I cannot surmount the madness to bring myself to knock some people senseless or God forbid, dead. I was once taught that law exists to serve several ends, including but not limited to protecting the weak from the strong (e.g. a person from the overreach of the state), protect public order (e.g. by banning certain behaviour and conduct), to deter people from repeating crimes ( ili liwe funzo kwa wengine wenye nia kama hio narrative) set out the powers of the state organs and their limitations and keeping people safe. We will not have the senseless bloodletting like that we witnessed in 2008 because the International Criminal Court, Koffi Annan, Justice Philip Waki and his team, Louis Moreno Ocampo and Madam Fatou Bensouda have already shown the world that international law is always law in motion, never suspended at any time of the day or night. In my case, I usually fear the threats of sanctions when a tout misbehaves to me or one of my fellow passengers. The mere fact that I may be locked up for assault sends shivers down my spine and I am usually forced to plead with the tout. In the absence of any law, I could just hit the touts head with the nearest fatal object in sight.

The touts operate with impunity as if the world owes them a favour. Were it not for the deterring effects of the law, I believe many touts would have their wrists slit and their bodies soaked in acid. But thank God, we live in a society governed by law and majority of the people suffer silently, and complain later. But there are instances where even I, the great law-abiding citizen would risk spending time behind bars. Gun violence in Chicago is at an all time high, the black on black crime has become unmanageable for the state and people there are living as if on borrowed time. All this is because some people have chosen the path of destruction and drugs addiction. The only way out of this conundrum is the execution of each offender found guilty. The life of Hadiya Pendleton (may the good Lord rest her soul in eternal peace) a 15-year-old girl in Chicago was nipped in the bud by a hell sent son of a gun. To be sincere, If I was the Hadiya’s father and found out who killed her, I would suspend the law and elect to suffer the consequences. I would make sure that that hoodlum dies a slow painful death, after which nothing would be found to be buried.

 

KENYA’S LAND QUESTION VERSUS RAILA AND UHURU RHETORIC.

“There are three things that are never satisfied,……the grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.”  Proverbs 30:15, 16.

Please add the peculiar Kenyan politician who does not get satisfied with spewing lies to the above list.

I will pull no punches, majority of us Kenyans are a gullible lot, we trust a lot (we even trust those reptilian politicians), we hope too much (this time he will deliver), we do not like history, we like our own and finally, we are easily distracted. We are currently in the spring of hope, but we are headed unknowingly right into the abyss of the winter of despair – disappointment. The politicians are dispensing and ingesting nonsense  Take for example the emotive land debate kicked off by Moses Masika Wetangula. He boldly told all those who cared to listen that Uhuru had no moral or legal authority, capacity, and didn’t deserve to lead Kenya to seek the presidency because he was using proceeds from his stolen land to campaign and bribe voters. Uhuru through his surrogates shot back, terming Wetangula’s assertion as hate speech. Land is a hot button topic across the whole world.

The Kenyatta’s landholding has for a long time been Kenya’s best kept secrets. We have accepted that because the former president was a “wise, organized and endowed with keen business acumen”, he bought all the land that he bequeathed his offspring, heirs and assigns. Those who disagree and put the size of the land to be similar to Nyanza province have always asked the Kenyatta family through Mama Ngina Kenyatta and her son Uhuru to come clean and settle this question once and for all. They have tried coming up with all manner of explanations as to how to the family came to posses vast swathes of land in the midst of squatters, but none which conclusively answers the question.

During the launch of Jubilee Coalition’s manifesto at the Moi International Sports Center Kasarani, Uhuru tried his hand at being an expert or rather a professor of land law. He was exercising his right of reply. He tried but he didn’t perform to what the country expected him to know about land in Kenya. His poor showing and skirting around the issue didn’t even help his cause. What he was describing is what we learnt in primary school, what we expected is what we would have heard the late law don Dr. Hastings Okoth-Ogendo Opinya Winston speak. I suggest that whoever is near Uhuru makes available Professor’s seminal paper, The last colonial question; an essay in the pathology of land administration systems in Africa. If he finds it unpalatable, he will even have to bring YouTube down because of what the likes of Simeon Nyachae and Stanley Githunguri had to say about how land was allocated while he was still an infant. The names of Jackson “Harvester” Angaine aka King of the Ameru former lands and settlement minister, Mr James Maina Wanjigi, former Director of Settlements and Land and Settlement former permanent secretary Peter Shiyukah will only bring out the lies being perpetuated in defence of how Kenyatta’s land was acquired.

It is a fact that nobody is allowed to question how Kenyatta acquired those islands of land across Kenya. In the year 2000 or thereabout, former Nyeri town legislator Wanyiri Kihoro called Kenyatta a land grabber not a land owner. He had touched raw nerves. Reaction was swift and threatening. Since then, silence has become the new normal. It thus comes as surprise to us that this question would pop up from the very people who have been hobnobbing with Uhuru and his family. Is the timing a matter of good faith or plain mischief? The timing is telling and suspect. Why now? Wetangula has been an errand boy for Kibaki and the outgoing establishment. He was one of Kibaki’s point men during the Serena Peace Talks alongside lands minister James Orengo. Let be known by all Kenyans that Kenyatta’s land will not be touched by the CORD administration. Perhaps if it was Jakom some redress would have been sought. At least for him, he occasionally has the courage and audacity to put his money where his mouth is. If CORD is serious about addressing the land question, let it employ the services of their lands minster James Aggrey Orengo to release the names of large land owners for Kenyans to decide on their own instead of using the mouth of Wetangula.

We are currently in a situation which demands attention, Mpesa, the mobile money transfer system which has been at the forefront of improving and changing lives of Kenyans has just seen its fees spiked up courtesy of Uhuru’s blue eyed boy Njeru Githae, nurses have been on strike for like eternity under the very nose of Jakom’s hatchet man Prof. Peter Anyang’ Nyong’o. All this are not getting attention but the shutting down of frequencies belonging to Royal Media Services has been noticed by the politicians.  Let these politicians know that we are suffering under their yoke, and we do not want to be distracted by their petty personal differences. Let all those young Kikuyu young men who may be tempted that Raila will go after Kenyatta’s land put their fears to rest. These are birds of a feather, they fly together. To my Kalenjin, Luo, Luhya, Mijikenda, Pokomo and any other community which seeks redress to historical land injustices, put not your trust in Raila, or CORD or any other collusion, because they will do nothing to march their lofty rhetoric.

Live in peace with your brother as though Raila or Uhuru never existed, help and protect your neighbours because they are more important to you than either of the two politicians. They called each other names in 2007 but come 2008, they were hugging and cheering each other for a fight well fought, at our expense. They are stretching their imaginations by trying to outdo each other fooling us. All those promises being made are lies. How can CORD promise quality and affordable healthcare when it is a foregone conclusion that Anyang’ Nyongo will be in the next government even if the sky falls? And please tell me, isn’t it the height of utopia by Jubilee putting the cart before the horse by promising a laptop computer for all class one pupils when we do not even have enough teachers and chalks? How does a child run before crawling? Or was he only referring to kids in Banda, Brookhouse, Peponi, Braeburn and International School of Kenya? Good people, wake up! Do not have any legitimate expectation.  The only African president who has kept her promise is Joyce Hilda Banda of Malawi. Do not expect any of our politicians to keep their promise unless you are reffering to former Makadara legislator and bling boy Gidion Mbuvi Sonko, love him or hate him, he has despite his sideshows served the people of Makadara.

p/s. I would to know where I can get drugs to treat my stomach. It churns and I always feel as though my intestines are being pulled when I see or hear Kalonzo talking of reform, renewal and transformation! Pure katikati yao doublespeak.